Sewer issues ongoing

To The Eagle:

Several years ago, our economic development gurus attempted to rescue our ailing golf course by slicing off a chunk of it to build golf-oriented condo units. Seemed impractical and our small course certainly didn't need an amputation, but we curmudgeons being neither golf nor economic development experts, the project proceeded. A contractor agreed to build the golf palaces, but only if we provided the sewer line to hook 'em to. This didn't seem kosher but we weren't ethics experts either, so the project rolled on. A local diggin' guy said he would do the job for fifteen grand plus the cost of the pipe but the economic gurus said we needed a big city contractor and got one to do it for only $311,000 (it actually came in for a bit less).

The town liked it if they could get the deep-pocket guys over at the county courthouse to pay for it, which they did. When we grouchy old taxpayers got our knickers in a knot again, the county guys reassured us they would get all our money back from the hookup fees; never mind that it would take more hooked up houses than you could get on that hillside. That all became moot because none of our experts thought to have the contractor sign a piece of paper saying he would actually build something. No condos got built, the line stopped short of the next houses up the hill, and the only building within hookup range is now in the hands of the bankruptcy mavens.

Back at city hall, the town was being bullied by the ecology gurus to build a new sewer plant while the same geezers and grouches were pointing out that since the town is shrinking or at least not growing, we should revamp the treatment plant we have, and get everyone possible off onto septic systems which require little maintenance and no fees. But the economic development gang sold the idea of converting the sewer lagoons into a marina addition, so the town committed to an engineering wonder, an uphill sewer system to a mountainside treatment plant with a price tag at five million and growing, with rates set to pause at 80 bucks a month on their way up. And now these same economic development experts are staging sewer summits to advocate redistributing the rate payments to someone else. In the words of the late Senator/poet Everett Dirksen, "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fella behind that tree."

Scary arithmetic: the town has borrowed $5 million for a sewer plant that must, by law, be repaid by the sewer users, who number less than 500. Doubling the number of hook ups would reduce the monthly bills, now at 80 and climbing, by about one fourth. We could attract all these hookups with catchy advertising: "Cathlamet land, where commodes are ten grand."

If that fails, the whole water/sewer operation should be turned over to Wahkiakum PUD where it will be subject to adult supervision. And the county should just write off the sewer to nowhere money as an investment that didn't work as planned (like the clinic?).

Howard Brawn

Puget Island