February is teen dating violence prevention & education month

To The Eagle:

One in three teens will experience some form of abuse in their dating relationships and two thirds of those who do will not report it.

The physical, emotional and sexual abuse that occurs in the relationships of teens is often similar to that of older people, but has its own set of issues. Younger daters are more likely to be harassed via text message, social media or e-mail and many young people have a hard time recognizing abuse in their relationships or those of their friends. Boyfriends and girlfriends are usually trusted confidants whose questionable behavior builds over time. When does the, “I love you and want to talk to you all the time, move into the “I love you and demand to know who you are talking to all the time.” We tend to think of abuse as black eyes and bruises, but there is a lot more to it than that.

Today’s teens face a potential dating abuse that didn’t exist a generation ago. Cell phone, e-mail, Facebook and instant messaging have made it easier for abusers to track and harass their victims. This also makes it difficult for parents and friends to know what is happening in the relationship.

The teen outlook is often, “This really isn’t as serious as you’re making it.” Just like other forms of dating abuse, it can be difficult for teens to know when digital communication becomes unhealthy: Is he calling and texting so much because he cares – or because he is controlling? Is it normal for her to so closely monitor your Facebook friend adds? Why is she scrolling through your inbox?

Just as students are educated on the dangers of drinking and drug use, they should be better prepared for relationships. The Charlotte House Wahkiakum County’s domestic violence and sexual assault program makes an effort to educate our students in both the middle and high schools. We help them to understand what a healthy relationship looks like and how to recognize unhealthy signs or “red flags” both in their relationships and those of their friends. The message we want them to hear is don’t stand by; stand up if you or someone you know is in any sort of trouble. It’s a message that’s repeated over and over again. We want them to know that it’s okay to talk to a parent, teacher, or other trusted adult.

The Charlotte House has a toll free hotline that teens and parents can call 24/7 if they have questions or concerns. All our services are free and confidential. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please call us at 360-795-6400 or toll free at 1-866-795-9381.

Susan Schillios

The Charlotte House