Don't make excuses for domestic violence

To The Eagle:

Survivors of domestic violence face special challenges this October, as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month rolls around. The continuing recession creates extra hardships for victims who may not have the resources to leave their abusers. A common question we hear is "Do you think we are seeing more domestic violence now because of the economic stress of the nation?" It's important to know that economic stress does not turn someone into an abuser, but it can lead to more frequent and dangerous abuse. Insufficient income limits a person's options, making it harder to be safe and independent from an abuser. Unemployed abusers have more time to monitor and control their partner. One of the main reasons people stay with or return to an abusive partner is that they don't have the money to support themselves and their children. This answers another question we hear frequently: "Why does she stay?" In harsh economic times, people are more reliant on free community services and public aid. At the same time, programs face funding cuts, making it harder to meet the increasing need.

So you may wonder, what can be done? It's important to know that we can't rely on any one system or agency to end domestic violence. It's a community problem we can only solve together.

People need to know they can talk about abuse and that they will be heard, supported and offered help. Abusers need to know that their neighbors, coworkers and friends agree that controlling your partner is not OK. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a time for us all to act. Don't just be aware, be involved.

Throughout this month, The Charlotte House will be displaying purple ribbons all around town. Purple is internationally recognized as the color representing domestic violence awareness. If you would like to display a ribbon in front of your home or business, please call us and we will be happy to deliver one to you. We also have small purple ribbons for you to wear that can be found at St. James Family Center, The Bank of The Pacific, and Bank of America here in Cathlamet. By displaying and wearing purple ribbons you will be showing survivors that our community continues to care and that support exists for them.

If you were at the Mules Homecoming game Friday night, you must have noticed the color purple there in abundance. The Charlotte House would like to thank our Mighty Mules and the Cheer Squad for helping us bring attention to our commitment of ending domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a complex and overwhelming issue, but there are things everyone can do. You can get educated about resources. You can learn what to say to a victim or a perpetrator. You can support the programs that offer safety--these programs do work!

Call The Charlotte House to learn about what we offer, so when someone turns to you for help, or you see something that concerns you, you'll be ready. The Charlotte House has trained advocates on call 24 hours a day at 795-6400 or toll-free 866-795-9381. Confidential free help is available.

Susan Schillios

The Charlotte House