Candidates checking in all over our county

To The Eagle:

The snap, crackle and pop of Independence Day pyrotechnics echoing up and down the lower Columbia felt unusually festive and celebratory this year. Seems our little backwoods neighborhood has three major wins to crow about as we bid a not-too-fond but very relieved farewell to NorthernStar's LNG, ShoreBank's NHA and also the D.I.P. (Dreaded Incubator Project). Not too surprising, really, that our merry band of rustics and hayseeds is leading the trend that is gathering momentum all over the county: killing inappropriate government and quasi-government intrusions and encroachments and then throwing out the bums who legislated them.

It'll take a little longer at the federal level, but November's only four months away, and there's a spectacular team of candidates checking in all over the county -- "reporting for duty" as the unfortunate John Kerry might say. Next door in Oregon, one of the nation's preeminent scientists Art Robinson is running to unhorse Peter Fazio. Art has been a leader in the crusade to expose the global warming and anti-nuclear hoaxes for over two decades, and is running to restore both scientific and financial sanity (as well as adult supervision) to Washington D.C. He's being joined by many others across the county, some experienced politicians, some not, but all running for the same purpose. Most will run as Republicans, but it's not a partisan thing--it's a Tom Paine thing: common sense. Here in Washington, Dino Rossi will usher Patti Murray into well-deserved early retirement.

You may have noticed that our golfer-in-chief is using environmental permit roulette to hinder the oil-spill cleanup effort. That technique was developed locally as part of the effort to sink Puget Island and create the Grays River Submarine Base. It will take two more years to totally decapitate the leviathan, but we can sure slow it down with effective use of the ballot box this November. In the meantime, there are some other projects we locals can attend to: find some cheerful reading material for our editor who is "saddened" by all this progress; buy a suit of armor (XL) for Blair Brady who dared to follow the wishes of his constituency rather than the EDC's; arrange a county tour for our mayor who thinks self-sufficiency and pioneering spirit are out of date; and send flowers and a get well card to Karen Bertroch, who fantasizes that we're sinking into fear and isolation.

Howard Brawn

Puget Island